Changes to Teen Eating- When to Worry and What to Do
Have you noticed changes in your teens eating habits?
Are they eating less, or less frequently; or significantly more? Are they ducking off to the bathroom immediately after meal times? Is your teen anxious or irritable around food and eating? Have they cut out particular food groups, or using smaller plates or spoons? Are they talking a lot about food but still not eating as you’d expect? Have they lost or rapidly gained weight? Do you notice them baking for others but never eating what they’ve made? Is their lunchbox coming home with uneaten food, or is food disappearing out of the fridge or cupboard at unusually slower or faster pace. These could all be signs it might be worthwhile opening a conversation with your teen around food, eating and how they feel about their body.
It is normal for appetite to increase through the teen years. Additional nutrition is required for healthy growth and development.
Your teen has a lot going on, they are managing school work, friendships, and family, possibly learning to drive and considering jobs and careers. There is a lot going on on the inside too: brain development, hormonal changes and preparations for extreme physical growth and the changes that come with puberty.
It makes sense their bodies need more energy (food and sleep) to fuel all this growth. As a parent its natural to monitor your child’s wellbeing including their overall mood and eating patterns. If you’ve noticed any changes and they are sudden or persistent, it might be worth keeping your eye on it.
Body Image
How often do you see dieting, weight loss or exercise programs advertised with ‘before and after’ images, especially in your own social media feeds? Your teens are likely seeing these filtered ads and images aswell and are being influenced in unhelpful ways which can trigger a comparative mindset.
Teens compare themselves to their peers as a natural part of their social development and they are heavily influenced by what they see on social media. It can become a problem if your teen becomes fixated on altering or harming their body based on their evaluation of such comparisons. This negative body image evaluation may show through your teens behaviours such as restricting how much or what they will eat, compensating for their nutritional intake by exercising; wearing baggier clothes; staying indoors more; becoming increasingly active; heightened anxiety around seeing photo’s of themselves, or avoiding having their photo taken at all.
So how do you know when to be worried?
If your teen loses more than 5kg. Regardless of body weight or shape, weight loss has occurred through limiting food intake. Unless your teen is on a supervised plan, you need to start to monitor for changes in food habits or mood if weight loss is more than 2 or 3kg.
If your teen is isolating themself when it comes to meal times. This might look like them saying “I’ve already eaten” or “I’m eating when I go out”, “I don’t feel like breakfast today” or “I’ll just eat this in my room”. They may also stop eating socially when out with family or friends.
If your teen cuts out any major food groups. Trying to limit fats, sugar, carbs or meat can often trigger other restrictive behaviours. Teens need all food groups in balance to be healthy. It is not healthy to have a “no fat” or low fat/carb diet for a developing brain and body. If your teen insists on being a vegetarian, you need a family plan to ensure their nutritional needs are being met through other means.
Big emotional responses to particular meals or food need to be monitored.
Anxiety before meal times, checking what ingredients are being added to meals or needing excessive control in the kitchen can be a clue that your teen needs some support.
If your teen is constantly hiding their body behind baggy clothing. This includes things like wearing big jumpers or long pants on a hot day. Even if this is their usual “style”. As parents you generally know the size and shape of your kids. If you’re not sure because the clothes are too baggy, try and gauge for weight loss or gain on the parts you can see.
Excessive or obsessive exercise is not healthy. If there is any distress when exercise routines cannot be followed there may be a problem. Equally concerns should be raised if your young person is exercising every single day for long periods, especially if the exercise is alone or you notice them doing it in secret.
How you can help your teen?
Ideally, we want our teens eating six times a day, 3 meals, 3 snacks with a variety of different options.
As a parent you can prepare food and make available options to your teen that allow for regular eating. We want all food groups to be available and accessible each day. Encourage your teen to add to the shopping list or go shopping with you so you know you can prepare some foods they like.
We want to encourage open conversation and opportunities for your teen to eat adequately and regularly, and to appreciate their growing bodies as they are. Use open ended questions and statements to explore what your teen might be thinking and feeling around food and their body.
It is ok to place expectations on your young person about when and how much food their body needs to grow and be healthy. However too much pressure “to just eat” may backfire. Preparing breakfasts and lunches and having lots of snacks they can grab and go sets the expectation that everyone in the family will fuel their bodies.
Be curious and non-judgemental if you notice your young person not eating certain foods, not finishing or skipping meals. We want them to feel safe to open up.
If your young person is struggling to eat, you may need to have a few pre-prepared options for them ready to go. Some teens just don’t eat as they don’t have the energy or motivation to prepare anything (even microwaving can be “too hard”), so they get stuck in a cycle where their energy lowers and they eat less. Having options cut up and ready to go can help.
If its not happening already, try create a positive (or at least neutral) social environment around meal times. This can look like eating together as a family and enjoying conversation or even games while you eat. We want to avoid stressful topics of conversation around the dinner table, we want eating to be associated with pleasant experiences. Encourage your teen to eat together and not alone in their rooms- we want to normalise social eating experiences.
Avoid using negative language around your own body image, preferably all the time, but especially in front of your teen.
Limit comments about your child’s body to them or others. Teens are sensitive to and will pick up on the approval in comments such as “you’ve lost weight” or “your legs look skinny in those” . Social media and friends are already giving them the “skinny is better” message and we do not want to feed into that. If your child is in a bigger body, avoid focusing on their weight or “their health”. If you need to comment on your teen’s appearance, regardless of their body size, focus on non-weight aspects such as: “I love your look today”, “your eyes are super sparkly”, “that shirt makes your eyes stand out”, “I love what you’ve done with your hair”.
Avoid categorising food as “good/healthy” or “bad/junk”. We want to reduce any stigma attached to different foods as all food serves a purpose and use neutral terms such as taste and textual descriptors. Be sure to model your own adequate and regular eating patterns that include all food groups.
Practise these tips yourself. If your teen declines your offers to eat or engage, model them anyway, it gives them the opportunity to change their mind and join in the conversation or the meal time experience.
Check in around your teens mood. Are there any signs that their mood might be impacting their appetite, such as stress, anxiety or depression? Addressing and improving these moods may see a normalised eating pattern return.
If you have ongoing concerns about your teen’s mood, body image or eating patterns and habits (or lack of), trust your gut, it might be time to have a chat with a professional team sooner rather than later.